Coaching Your Estate Planning Team

On December 17, 2022 – UNC men’s basketball ties the game on a buzzer beater by Pete Nance to advance into overtime against Ohio State at Madison Square Garden, eventually winning the game 89-84. Many UNC fans will remember this nail-biting thriller, but if you don’t recall this game, or simply want to relive the moment, here is a link to view the final minute plus overtime of the game.

The question I pose to you is: what impact did calling a timeout with 2 seconds remaining, to communicate everyone’s role, have on the game's outcome?

In life, you often swing between player and coach. However, when it comes to the implementation of your estate plan, I maintain that more often than not you are the coach. Ultimately, it’s your charge to highlight your desires and work with professionals to craft a plan, often updating and refining this plan throughout your lifetime. Then, you progressively hand your game plan off to your team of family, friends, and professionals to put it into action.

Just as Coach Davis’s communication during the final play positively impacted their game, I’d argue that communicating your plans to your “team” will create better outcomes for you and those you care about.

So, how do you go about coaching this team of guardians, agents, executors, trustees, and beneficiaries; and what should you expect from them in return? We’ve highlighted the best practices we encourage all of our clients, friends, and family to follow below:

What your team should expect from you:

1. Have a plan

Thoroughly consider your desired outcomes and the “roster” of people in your life who are the best fit for the various roles in your estate and incapacitation plan. Recognize that both your goals and “roster” can change over time, and your plan can be adapted quite easily.
If you don’t have legal documents in place, we’re happy to refer you to a trusted estate attorney.

2. Communicate early and often

Begin discussing your plans and desires as soon as you’re reasonably able. This can be a deep dive into the details of a family trust or just an acknowledgment of its existence.
If you’re uncomfortable having the conversation, determine why and work to resolve the source of discomfort.

3. Be organized

You are one of the few, if not only, people with a truly comprehensive view. We recommend aggregating your key documents, passwords, and stories (check out Alex's recent blog post for a deeper dive on stories) in a safe place and telling those close to you where to look when they’re needed and provide copies for their own records too.

What you should expect of your team:

1. Listen with compassion

We’ve seen the discomfort and difficulties many people face when discussing the potential incapacitation and eventual passing of their loved ones. It’s not easy to acknowledge, and this challenge shouldn’t be diminished.

2. Seek to understand

There may be a time when they will be responsible for making decisions on your behalf. You’ll want to provide them with a grasp of the legal plans as well as your personal desires and value systems. Urge them to ask questions – as many as they have.

3. Engage with professionals

Serving as executor, weighing in on medical care, and many other elements of being part of the team necessitate highly impactful decisions that they’ve likely never navigated before. This makes working with professionals who have regular experience navigating these decisions and legal systems critical. Make sure they have the contact information for your Financial Team– Estate Planning Attorney, Financial Advisor, and/or CPA.

No matter which half of the game you’re in, call a time out to get organized and communicate with your team. Raise your chances of “winning” by having the conversation, even if you find it uncomfortable. Remember that even coaches have coaches, and if you feel underprepared or in need of support, we’re happy to offer guidance along the way.